Scarlet Letter

I think it’s safe to say that we all reach a dark moment in our walk with God. Dark may not be the word. It’s almost as if you know which way to walk, and you see the light. But, you just get tired. Or bored. Or maybe even just stagnant.

And as you’re standing there, you watch the light fade. You can feel the darkness start to dwell over you. There’s no point and turning to the light. You’re so far away, you’re so far gone that no matter how fast you try to walk, you’ll never catch up.

And suddenly, you’re in the darkness. You can hear Him calling your name, but you have no idea which way to turn. Other voices start to crowd you as you crutch down, burdened by the darkness.

There’s no point, you tell yourself. I’ll just stay here. He’s probably gone anyway.

Does anyone else knows what that feels like? When you feel so far away from God that there isn’t a point in trying to reach out to Him?

I’ve done so much dirt, no wonder He’s left me.

I’ve been there.

And the difference is that I know better. You would think that being raised in church would mean that I could lead this perfect life that’s all about Jesus, yet, I continually break His heart.

A realization that I’ve had about love is that if you truly love someone, you will do everything in your power to never hurt them.

Yet, we sit in our darkness, doing only God knows what, and we hurt Him.

But He loves us still.

We hurt Him time and time again, yet He still loves us. Even when we stand up and lie in His face and say I promise I will never hurt you again. He smiles and says, Even when you do, I’ll still love you.

It’s amazing, God’s love. Because there are times when I feel so unloveable. And I feel like I’m wearing a scarlet letter and everyone knows what I did, but in reality, it’s only Him. And the blood that I have on my hands from nailing Him to that cross is only to be washed away by His love.

I don’t deserve it. Really. I don’t. And I will hurt Him again. And God knows that. Yet, He loves me anyway. He loves you anyway. And no matter how far you run into your darkness, He will never stop loving you.

xoxo, Ticia

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